The Moment I Believed I Could be Loved

ByElizabet Abraham, BC-DMT

Today I will share with you the most profound pivotal moment for me within my healing journey. It was the start of how dance therapy changed my life completely- from the inside out. 

I invite you to take a deep breath with me.

Inhale, Exhale.

Before this moment, I believed that no one could ever love me. Everytime I liked someone, I’d text them “I hope you don’t hate me.”  Self-sabotage, low self-esteem and abandonment issues are some of the many effects of childhood sexual abuse I experienced.

Here is a snippet of the start of my dance therapy healing journey:

I gently caress my skin, exploring with my fingertips, up one arm, across my chest with my palm over my heart, continue down to my womb, hips, legs, back up gently sensing my face. Softly breathing, softly swaying. For the first time I acknowledge my skin as my largest organ. As the barrier of protection from the outside world.

I feel my pain

I feel my little girl self, scared, hurt, abandoned

I feel alone

I continue caressing my skin. Giving myself a hug. Goosebumps all over my body as I feel for the first time an internal shift- an inner knowing.

I AM LOVED.

I AM WHOLE.

With every fiber of my being I believe and sense I am loved. I am whole.

My skin leads the way. Tears stream down my face. 

I AM ONE.

Sensing that I AM ONE is so profound since I grew up splitting my mind and body, compartmentalizing all the different parts of myself. I had friends where I was my silly self, my ‘smart self’, my athletic self, my confident self, my wild and spontaneous self, my creative dance self, my very Cuban self, my responsible self and so on. 

This moment opened the doors to me letting love in, which led to the relationship I have with my hubby and father of my bebe.

Years of therapy and yet in a room full of classmates, during my 1st year of my Master’s of Science dance therapy program, I reached the deepest love for myself I had ever experienced.

I was safe.

I was guided.

I was embodied.

These are now the pillars of my life and work. I help those I work with find safety within, build a trusting relationship so that I can guide them towards the greatest gift I can give them: The gift of themselves- WHOLE and LOVED.