3 Tips for Embodied Sex & Intimacy
Sex can be a complex subject, specially for those with unresolved past trauma. Some things that can get in the way of enjoying sex freely are:
Fear: of being seen, hurt, rejected, judged, or triggered.
Doubt: “am I good, pretty, confident or loveable enough?”
Anxiety: mind going a mile a minute, coming up with worst case scenarios about sex, your relationship, your wedding, work, literally anything.
Dissociation: this can feel like being disconnected from your thoughts + body and hard to be present.
All of these symptoms can add layers of guilt and feelings of being broken for not being able to “simply enjoy sex” with the love of your life, especially during your engagement or beginning of marriage when bonding is the focus, desire or expectation.
Know that I see you if sex has been a hard thing to enjoy and instead has brought up unwanted things from the past. This is why I want to share a few ways you can reduce anxiety and get in touch with your body during intimate moments with your boo.
Here are your 3 Tips for Embodied Sex & Intimacy
1. Sacred Feminine
Indulge in connecting to your womb area. This can happen on your own before uniting with your partner. Take your time running your hands through your center and hips. Take deep breaths letting out a deep sigh as you sense your exhale from your womb. Gently move your hips anyway you like. You can imagine moving like water. By connecting to your sacred feminine, you’re tapping into your flow, creativity, sensuality and center.
2. Connect your breath
First notice your own breath, then your partner’s. You can place one hand over each other’s heart and explore syncing your breath (only if this feels right for you. If not, you can still connect through consciously breathing while witnessing each other). Another way to connect your breath is by resting your head on your partner’s chest or vice versa. You can continue to notice each others’ breath and sync it during sex. Don’t let this be stressful, simply something to try out and explore (it can be momentarily).
3. Explore your bodies using your senses
Eyes: take each other in visually. You can do this at the same time or taking turns standing nude (or however feels comfortable for you) in front of each other. You can also try making eye contact for a longer than usual time, with curiosity and love before and during sex.
Touch: Allow your fingertips to explore the surface of your own skin first and then your partner’s. You can add a little body oil if you like for added sensation.
Aroma: Notice the aroma in the room + each others’ neck. This doesn’t mean you’re sniffing each other (unless that’s your thing), simply noticing the scent of your partner’s skin. If you have scented oil, diffusers or candles you can bring awareness to that as well.
Taste: Allow your lips and tongue to taste each other’s skin anywhere that feels good and safe for you. A few examples are the neck area, nipples, or arm. Again entirely up to you and your partner.
All of these embodiment practices have the power of helping you BE more present, reduce anxious thoughts, and empower you to fully feel and embrace your intimacy, whether it’s sexual or not. All of these are meant to feel safe, so, as always, listen to your body and speak up about your needs. If something doesn’t feel right, you’re not feeling safe, or are actively feeling triggered, you can communicate this with your partner. You can always come back to these practices at another time.
Don’t push through any sexual activity if you’re not enjoying it. You are also encouraged to try these out on your own at any time in order to increase your connection to your self, sensuality, and pleasure. I see you and feel you if this is a difficult area in your relationship. If you need extra support, you’re always welcome to book a free call with me by clicking HERE.
